Grief During Narcissistic Abuse
by: Todd Doyle, International Author of Healing the Shattered: Surviving Narcissistic Abuse
Grief is a natural response to loss, and it is a normal part of the healing process. However, individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse may experience grief in a unique and complex way.
Narcissistic individuals often use manipulation, exploitation, and control in their relationships to get their needs met and maintain a sense of power and control. This can leave their victims feeling confused, isolated, and unsure of their own worth. The psychological manipulation and abuse that is often perpetrated by narcissistic individuals can create a sense of loss for the victim, as they may feel that they have lost a sense of their own identity, autonomy, and self-worth.
The grief associated with narcissistic abuse can be complex and multifaceted, and it may involve feelings of loss, sadness, anger, and confusion. It can be difficult for victims to process and work through these feelings, as the abuser may have conditioned them to prioritize the abuser’s needs and wants over their own.
Because of the narcissistic abuse and how it works, you’ll feel a deep entanglement as you begin to suffer the grief and agony that comes along with breaking the trauma bond. The grief will come in waves and you won’t even understand it at first. You won’t even know why you’re grieving your abuser. That lack of understanding will only create more grief as you begin to go no contact.
If you are experiencing grief after narcissistic abuse, it is important to recognize that the abuse is not your fault and that you are worthy of love, respect, and healthy relationships. Seeking support from friends, family, a therapist, or a support group can be helpful in navigating these feelings and working through the emotional impact of the abuse. Remember, you are not alone and there is help available.