Abandonment During Narcissistic Abuse
by: Todd Doyle, International Author of Healing the Shattered: Surviving Narcissistic Abuse
Abandonment is a common fear among individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic individuals often use manipulation, exploitation, and control in their relationships to get their needs met and maintain a sense of power and control. This can leave their victims feeling confused, isolated, and unsure of their own worth.
During narcissistic abuse, victims may feel abandoned by their abuser, even if the abuser is physically present. This can be due to the emotional and psychological manipulation that is often used by narcissistic individuals to exert control. The abuser may withhold love, affection, and validation, or they may engage in behaviors that undermine the victim’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
The betrayal trauma associated with narcissism in general creates a deep sense of feeling abandoned. It can be hard to manage those feelings from the betrayal abuse associated with being discarded. It is important to recognize your own worth is not dependent on what the narcissist thinks about you. Your worth comes from how you view yourself.
The fear of abandonment can be especially acute for victims of narcissistic abuse, as the abuser may use threats of abandonment as a way to control and manipulate the victim. For example, the abuser may threaten to leave the relationship or to cut off contact if the victim does not comply with their demands or expectations.
The fear of abandonment can have a serious impact on an individual’s mental health and well-being. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and low self-esteem, and it can make it difficult for victims to trust and form healthy relationships in the future.
If you are experiencing abandonment during narcissistic abuse, it is important to recognize that the abuse is not your fault and that you are worthy of love, respect, and healthy relationships. Seeking support from friends, family, a therapist, or a support group can be helpful in navigating these feelings and working through the emotional impact of the abuse. Remember, you are not alone and there is help available.