Digital Safety After Abuse: Accounts, Devices, and Location Sharing

Technology safety is one of the most frequently overlooked parts of separating from an abusive relationship, and also one of the easiest to get wrong by rushing. This article summarizes general guidance from the National Network to End Domestic Violence’s Safety Net Project, the leading technology-safety resource in this field, and points you to them directly for anything specific to your situation.

Where the Real Risk Usually Is

According to the Safety Net Project, most phone monitoring does not require sophisticated hacking. It usually requires physical access, someone who has looked through a phone regularly, knows the passcode, or has installed monitoring software (sometimes called stalkerware) directly onto the device. Location can also be shared more broadly than people realize, through built-in phone features, specific apps, and even photo metadata.

Common Risk Areas

• Shared or linked accounts, including phone billing, cloud storage, streaming, and email accounts that may still have another person’s access
• Location sharing settings, both built into the phone’s operating system and inside individual apps
• Monitoring software installed directly on a device, which is not always obvious from normal use
• Old devices and SIM cards, since restoring data from a backup or reusing an old SIM can unintentionally reinstall monitoring software onto a new phone

Why Timing and Order of Operations Matter

This is the part that is easy to get wrong without guidance: if someone is actively monitoring your device, changing settings abruptly can alert them that you know, sometimes before you are ready for that. This is exactly the kind of decision where a trained advocate’s input changes the right next step. The Safety Net Project’s own guidance is built around this, helping you sequence changes safely rather than all at once.

Where to Get Personalized Help

The Safety Net Project (techsafety.org) publishes detailed, regularly updated guides on cell phone safety planning, location tracking, and setting up a new device safely. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233, or text START to 88788) can also help you think through digital safety as part of a broader plan. See Safety Planning in an Abusive Relationship: Where to Begin for how the pieces fit together.