Protecting Pets When Planning to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Concern for a pet’s safety is one of the most common, and most understandable, reasons people delay leaving an abusive relationship. Across multiple studies, researchers have found that somewhere between roughly one in five and nearly two-thirds of survivors with pets have delayed leaving, or returned to an abusive partner, specifically out of fear for their animal’s safety, with the range varying by study population and how the question was asked. One widely cited intake survey found that 71 percent of pet-owning women entering domestic violence shelters reported that their abusive partner had injured, killed, or threatened to harm a family pet. A separate survey by the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the Urban Resource Institute found that 97 percent of survivors said keeping their pets with them was an important factor in deciding whether to seek shelter at all.

If You’re Still in the Home

Where possible, avoid leaving pets alone with an abusive partner. Establishing proof of ownership, vaccination and licensing records in your name specifically, can also matter later, including for any protective order that addresses the pet. If a vet visit is possible without raising suspicion, updating that paperwork while you’re still in the home is often easier than trying to track it down afterward.

Planning for Where They’ll Go

Start by asking friends, family, or your veterinarian about temporary care if you need it. If that’s not available, your local domestic violence shelter or animal shelter may know about pet-specific safe-haven programs; a relatively small number of shelters nationally are pet-friendly or partner with foster programs built specifically for this situation, so it’s worth asking directly rather than assuming none exist nearby. Pet-friendly shelter availability varies a great deal by state and region, which is part of why asking early, even before you’re ready to leave, can be worth it.

If You’re Pursuing a Protective Order

Some states allow pets to be explicitly named and protected within a protective order, meaning the order can legally require the pet to stay with you and bar the other person from contact with the animal. Ask your advocate or lawyer whether that’s available where you live, especially if there have already been threats or harm involving the animal, since that history can also matter for the broader order.

If and When You Leave

If it’s safe to plan ahead, bringing extra food, medications, copies of medical and vaccination records, and your vet’s contact information can make a sudden departure much less chaotic for both of you. A familiar carrier, blanket, or toy can also help an animal cope with a sudden change of environment, which matters more than it might seem to when everything else is already in flux.

Where to Get Help

A domestic violence advocate can help you think through pet safety as part of a broader plan, including local resources that may not be widely advertised. Start with the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233, or text START to 88788), or see Safety Planning in an Abusive Relationship: Where to Begin.